Our dossier (official paperwork that we worked on for months demonstrating that we are fit to adopt) has officially arrived in China! We have a log in date (LID) of October 18, 2016. This means we are now able to be matched with a child. There have been tons of things we’ve done behind the scenes to get this point, so it is a relief and celebration to finally be here!

Right now the Chinese officials are in the process of translating our file into their language. I would LOVE to see that huge stack of documents in Chinese characters! (But I’m not sure their government is going to take a commemorative photo and text it to me or anything.) So I’ll just settle for being happy that, somewhere across the world, our file is being processed.

I’m sure you’re wondering what all this means and what our timeline looks like. Basically, our agency estimates that we will get a child’s file presented to us somewhere between three and nine months of our LID. After we accept the referral, it is four to six months before we travel to pick up our kiddo. For now, we are just waiting.

While we wait, it gives us time to learn more about the unique things about attachment and bonding that come with bringing children from a traumatic situation into a home. One of the resources I have used to prepare is the Love Without Boundaries website. They have a ton of useful information, but this article on the realistic expectations of attachment will give you an idea of how our child’s situation differs from a biological child.

Another resource we’ve been learning from is The Connected Child: Bringing Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family. This book is required reading from our adoption agency. There is tons of material in it about how to relate to a child from a hard place so that they form a secure connection with us.

Some of it is common sense, but other methods are a departure from the traditional parenting styles we are more accustomed to. The authors promote using do-overs to teach kids what they should have done instead of just disciplining for wrong behavior.

We need to build trust with our new child so that they feel safe with us to overcome the trauma they have experienced. It is all a lot to take in, but we want to make sure we are aware of the best ways to help and heal our kiddo when they get home.

We also have to do all the other “normal” things that parents do to get ready for a second child. And, we’re still writing grants and fundraising to cover the massive costs of adoption. (You can check out how we raised all the money without debt here.)

If you didn’t know (I didn’t until recently), November is National Adoption Month. Here’s a stat for you: UNICEF estimates that there are 153 million children worldwide who are considered orphans. (This number was updated in April 2018. When I originally wrote this post, the number was 151 million.)

That’s a lot of kids dealing with loss and in need of families. Take some time this month to pray for those children. Also consider praying for the birth parents who give up their children because of poverty, illness, lack of resources, or the myriad of other reasons this happens all around the world. And pray for our kiddo out there as we wait to meet them.

If you would like to learn more about adoption and how your family could start this journey, Adoption.com has some helpful guides to get you started. I’m also happy to answer any questions and point you in the right direction. Feel free to leave a comment below or email me directly.

Our daughter is now home and thriving. Read more posts from our adoption journey here. And download your copy of 101 Adoption Fundraising Ideas here.

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