Marriage, like most good things in life, needs a little maintenance to keep running smoothly. You can’t drive a car for years without getting the oil changed or an occasional tune up. At the very least, you must fill the vehicle with gas or you’ll find yourself stranded on the side of the road. The same is true of your relationship.

Nathan and I have been married for more than eight years. In that time, we’ve experienced major life events together. Things like buying a house, major surgeries, job changes, birth of a child, death of a parent, international adoption, and more have shaped us into different people than we were when we met. Through it all, we vowed to keep our relationship a priority.

But if I’m honest, some days it is difficult to focus on your spouse when two tiny humans are constantly demanding attention. After we finally get them to bed (fingers crossed they stay there after the lights are out!), all I want to do is chill on the couch watching Netflix or scrolling through Facebook. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. But neglecting your spouse leads to marriage problems, which isn’t fun for anyone. This is why I’m happy to have found CoupleWise!

This post is sponsored by CoupleWise. However, all opinions and reviews are based on my own personal experience with their product. 

CoupleWise is an online program that allows you to have the best of couples’ therapy and activities in the privacy of your own home. Before I lose you, know that my husband and I actually found this to be fun! In addition to all the science and research behind it, it was nice to set aside a little bit of time to talk about our relationship and do some of the activities they suggest.

While it is enjoyable, it is evident from the beginning the team at CoupleWise is serious about helping couples strengthen their relationships for the long haul. In an introduction video, CEO and Co-Founder Dan Gallo says they are “committed to helping you build and maintain a healthy relationship that will last.”

Dan founded CoupleWise with creator and Chief Psychologist Gary Krane, Ph.D. who led a team of researchers to find the building blocks to healthy relationships. After studying more than 55,000 couples, they found that there are 24-core relationship needs that individuals have.

The level of satisfaction you have with the needs that are important to you determines success as a couple. In fact, there are nine “super needs” that can predict the longevity of your relationship. That alone is reason enough for me to check in to make sure my husband and I are on the same page.

How does CoupleWise work?

Since CoupleWise is online, you can sign up whenever and wherever you want. I created the account, answered a few basic questions, and within 15 minutes was able to send an invitation to Nathan so that he could get started.

I watched a video they provide at the beginning that explains everything well. It is great even for the technologically challenged. If you don’t think your partner would be willing to participate, they help you tailor your invitation to them in a way that has been successful with other couples. I thought this was an especially helpful tool because we know that not everyone is excited to dig into their relationship in this way.

Then I began the process of clarifying my relationship needs. I was prompted with a series of questions based on the 24 needs where I stated whether I agreed or disagreed, and my level of satisfaction with my husband in those areas. At the end, I selected one need to work on, which will be shared with my partner. Working through this means that your experience will be personalized to your relationship, not just some preset marriage advice that may not apply to your specific situation.

I like that CoupleWise doesn’t lead with a whole lot of negativity about your relationship. You get to choose what and when your results are shared with your partner. And you can only reveal one area to focus on at a time. In other words, my husband isn’t faced with a laundry list of things to work on in our first session and vice versa. Instead, we get to see the areas where our spouse feels like things are going well, and one area for us to improve upon.

Besides having control over what your partner sees, you can also rest assured that no one gets your information except you. CoupleWise states that your data is 100% confidential. If you are using an outside therapist or counselor, I think this would be a great tool to use to get more out of those sessions. But the choice to share is up to you.

After completing the needs section, I sent an “agreement” to my husband through their system of a time for us to discuss the results. He was asked to create his own account that is linked to mine, then he walked through the same process. It took him about 30 minutes to register and do the initial needs section on his phone. Then I received an email that he was finished and we were ready to go!

What does a CoupleWise session look like?

If you do it correctly, you should start on a Couple’s Journey dashboard with a series of short videos that tell you how to use CoupleWise, review one another’s needs, then lead into the conflict resolution course they recommend doing first.

However, Nathan and I messed this up a little. I had watched some of the videos on my own first to learn more about the whole thing and looked around before we did it together. Overachiever right here! When we sat down on the couch with my laptop the first time, I opened the page to my account and failed to hit the home button at the top as I should have. Oops!

So we did a completely self-guided review of the needs map first, then decided to try out one of the exercises to see how they worked. There is an exercise related to each of the 24 needs so that you can work through the ones you each designated to work on first. We chose to try the affection one. Since my day is normally filled with sloppy toddler kisses and mud-covered boy hugs, it was good to have a refresher on adult affection.

I’ll admit that I expected the exercises to feel awkward and formal, but I was pleasantly surprised. For affection, it was broken into three short exercises that had two or three questions each to discuss. Having questions to guide us helped us cover things that may not come up in everyday conversation.

After 15-20 minutes, we were both more aware of what types of affection each of us prefers. One of the questions had us rank our personal ways of showing love that was similar to The 5 Love Languages. We got some laughs out of our answers to the question about examples of inappropriate public displays of affection. Then we set up a regular time to log in again together and do another exercise. All in all, it was pretty painless, we learned more about one another, and we both felt open to doing it again. I call that a success!

Not all the exercises are related to the specific needs. The Conflict Resolution modules are great for giving you the tools to be compassionate and empathetic when you disagree with your partner…or anyone in your life! They show a real couple having an argument and then a therapist shows them how to do it differently. The result is practical ways for you to proceed the next time you face an argument. I recommend this course for everyone as it gives you a framework to discuss all the other issues that arise as you work through CoupleWise in a healthy way.

There is also a whole section called “Know Each Other” where you can get to know more about your spouse with some trivia-like questions. This was right up my alley since I love playing question games with Nathan on road trips to get us talking more. My personal favorite CoupleWise feature is the “Fun & Play” area that has TONS of simple games and activities to do with your partner or your kids. These are designed to add an element of playful interaction to everyday happenings like watching tv, eating dinner, or shopping. My husband liked these, too!

Pros and Cons of CoupleWise

All and all, I found CoupleWise to be a good way to maintain a healthy marriage, without having to leave the comfort of your home. The platform is online making it easy to access, even with a busy schedule. It’s also affordable, with an annual membership costing about the same as a single counseling session elsewhere.

CoupleWise is interactive and you can do it at your own pace. Whether you have a specific, persistent issue that needs to be addressed or you just want to keep your relationship strong with a little maintenance, this is a great option for you. I believe that if the couple is committed to participating, everyone can get something out of it.

I think that it could be improved with an app for mobile devices. Right now, you must access it through the website and Nathan had some issues with things lining up weird on his phone. It might also be nice to have something separate from the individual logins for the couple sessions. This may have avoided us starting in the wrong place…or that may have just been user error on my part! After the first session, we found it pretty user friendly.

If you or your partner have a history of violent or addictive behavior, you should not rely on CoupleWise. They recommend couples with this background seek professional care with a licensed therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, and/or organizations such as AA. Their disclaimer also states that any advice that may be posted on CoupleWise is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace or act as a substitute for any professional, medical, or therapeutic advice.

CoupleWise Review Bottom Line

For most married couples (or unmarried—it works for any romantic relationship!), CoupleWise is a great tool to keep your marriage strong and healthy for years to come. It is a convenient, fun, and affordable way to maintain the most important human relationship in your life.

I hope this CoupleWise review gives you a better idea of how this program can help your connection with your partner. Don’t think of it as marriage counseling, but as a fun thing you can do together. Pick a weekly time and have an at-home date night that will give your relationship the maintenance it deserves.

Try CoupleWise Today for Free

Don’t just take my word for it; try CoupleWise for yourself! Click here for a free 10-day trial of CoupleWise. No promo code needed! It’s the best thing you can do for your relationship today.

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