Way back in elementary school, I learned that when taking a true/false test you must be wary of never and always statements. My teacher said that things usually arenât that definitive, which is certainly true of real life. And as we head into wedding season, Iâm reminded that it is also true of marriage!
Once you start sharing your life, money, space, and home with someone, those old always and never proclamations come into question. Compromise is essential to a strong relationship, which means there are things you have to give on to keep the peace.
So I asked my friends and a few mom bloggers what are some things they said they would never do, until marriage came along and changed all that. Their hilarious confessions are belowâŠalong with a few of my own!
Note: These are meant to be lighthearted and fun, but I know that some people reading this have more serious things going on in their relationships. If you find yourself in a marriage where you are the only one compromising or dealing with other serious issues, please seek outside help. There are great professional counselors out there or you can check out my review of the online CoupleWise program here.
DĂ©cor Compromises in Marriage
My husbandâs bachelor pad was a sports enthusiastâs dream. He used bats, golf clubs, and tennis rackets as dĂ©cor. Framed Sports Illustrated covers and team blanked adorned the walls. He even put a poker table in his kitchen in lieu of a dining set.
But his shining moment came when he would pull the TV from the bedroom to the living room so that he could simultaneously watch two sporting events at the same time. You know, like when you go to a sports bar. He wanted to eventually get a permanent second television for the living room to avoid lugging one around all the time.
When we got married, the sports décor was either donated or kept in boxes in the garage. And I said I would never have two TVs beside each other. I did not want my living room to remind people of Buffalo Wild Wings.
But if you come in my house right now, youâll see a television on an entertainment stand and one MOUNTED TO THE WALL above it.
It turns out that there are advantages to being able to watch The Bachelor on the main screen while he enjoys a football game. Since heâs okay with no sound on sporting events, we donât have to retreat to separate rooms if we donât want to watch the same thing. He says itâs something every married couple should have.
Iâm not sure Iâd go that far, but I have come to enjoy the benefits not having to decide who controls the remote.
Iâm not the only one who compromises on household dĂ©cor.
Elise Johnson told me she never thought sheâd hang a deer skull in the master bedroom. She says she made it look really cute and rustic (which I totally believe because she has delightful photos of other DIY projects on her blog).
âI doubt my 20-year-old self even knew what a âhunting wifeâ was, let alone thought it would be my future!â Elise said.
If you are having a tough time getting to sleep tonight, just remember Elise. Then you can count among your blessings that you arenât sleeping beside an animal carcass. Unless you are sleeping beside an animal carcass. Then maybe I understand why sleep evades youâŠ. Just kidding! (Kinda.)
Itâs Okay to Change Your Mind
McKayla at Motivation for Mom said she would never move out of state. Then she met her husband. âI packed my bags and moved out of state shortly thereafter!â she laughed. Hopefully it was somewhere warm!
My friend Anna described expectations versus reality with her comment. âI swore Iâd never get a king size bed because I wanted to be able to snuggle all night long. Now Iâm like âget over on your side so I can sleep like a starfish!ââ I love the starfish visual.
Keep the Mystery Alive with Your SpouseâŠand Out of the Bathroom
Rigel at Holes in Your Socks confessed, âI said I would never be âthat coupleâ that pees in front of each other in the bathroom.â She now admits that it doesnât happen often, but definitely has occurred.
I totally relate to this one. Even though childbirth and some hospital stays for my husband have made for some exceptions, I agree that there are some areas where some mystery in a relationship is okay. Like what happens on the toilet.
Angel from The Bluegrass Mom said she would never get irritated about the little thingsâŠlike pee on the toilet seat. Since marriage, she now says, âYâall, I donât get why men donât wipe their pee up!â
Iâm going to say that Angel may be one of the few on this list who still has her never statement intact. Because pee on the toilet seat is a BIG deal! Come on, guys! There is toilet paper right there! Unless, of course, you left the roll empty. But thatâs a whole other issueâŠ
Mommy Issues in Marriage
Several of the comments I received related to being a mom or having a mom. Iâll eventually do a post like this on parenting, but here are a few gems that apply to marriage.
Alice, one of my beloved book club members, revealed, âI said I would never be like my mother, yet I found myself cloning her at times. It was not good.â
I think weâve all been guilty of this from time to time. Hope your husband is a fan of your mom, Alice!
Audrey from Mommy Enlightened said she would never have a house as messy as her motherâs. Evidently, her husband hated how neurotic she was about keeping things tidy. But she has come around some.
âNow I understand and am more comfortable with a messy house. Mostly,â Audrey explained.
My momâs house is always cleaner than mine, so my husband dodged a bullet there! Sorta?
My friend Shae, a stay-at-home mother of a three-year-old and one-year-old twins, confessed, âI said I would never have kids or be a stay-at-home mom with a minivan.â
Guess how she transports those beautiful children? You guessed it! Itâs hard to beat those sliding doors and all the cupholders. Youâre living your best SAHM life, Shae.
Dog Days of Marriage
Newlywed Jaclyn admitted, âI said I would never have a dog and never in the houseâŠâ She and her husband are currently searching for a Maltese. Sheâs destined for a whole litter of pups if she relented at this stage in the game!
Perhaps my favorite never statement of marriage came from my friend and fellow adoption travel pack member Karen who displayed her husbandâs compromise in grand fashion. âKevin said he would never let the dog sleep on the bed.â She followed this with some beautiful evidence to the contrary:
Kevin thinks sheâs just jealous the dog likes him more than her. He may have a solid case, from the looks of it!
I hope this post is a warning to all your single people not to get too caught up in the little things when looking for a spouse. Compromise is always on the tableâŠor on the wall above the television!
Iâd love to hear the things you said youâd never do in marriage in the comments below! Stuck in a date night rut? Download my list of 52 Date Ideas here!
You may also like:
What Football Taught Me About a Happy Marriage
Looking to spice up your date nights?
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OMG!!! This is hilarious, but also true. I’m still single, and I’m learning that when I do get married, I would have to compromise on a few things to make my marriage beautiful.
Hahaha yes!! These are funny! Never say never!
Oh, I haven’t plenty of those stories too of things I’d ever put up with in marriage and motherhood that have been dismissed. The decor one is huge! My husband also had a poker table. I had to compromise for a year before he would let me remove it from the kitchen. Ugh.
At least the poker table is gone now, right? Haha!
Oh, gosh why can’t I proof my auto text before submitting! Haha! I think you caught the gist of my words. Haha!
* Have
* Never
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Loved these marriage confessions! I actually love the two mounted TVs in one room! Don’t we all say funny things before we are married (or have children) and then eat our words later? I never thought I’d listen to country music or like craft beer but here we are 7 years later…Thanks for sharing!
My husband will be so proud you like the two tvs! Never say never!
ha ha!! The tv mounted to the wall in my bedroom is definitely something I didn’t want! It’s good to know I’m in good company.
I had to chuckle at the clothes hanging from the antlers! There are several things that you think will be different before marriage – and parenting.
Marriage reality is different than what we imagined, so you never know what will be hanging above your bed! Haha! Parenting is a whole other ballgame. I’m going to do a post on those nevers soon!
These are funny. Kind of like saying “I will never do that as a mom.” Then you realize reality is a little different than you thought. I like the decor compromising. I didn’t think I would. Usually guys could care less about the decor. Not my husband, luckily we have similar taste for the most part, LOL.
My never statements as a mom are even longer than my wife ones! I’ll do a post on those soon. Thanks for reading!